Português of the Week

comemoração - celebration

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

IF WE WERE ANY DEEPER IN THE RAIN FOREST

we’d be dancing along the riverbank with Mowgli and Baloo. Or was The Jungle Book about India? Whatever. You know what I mean. Shit’s wild.

You think I’m over exaggerating, don’t you? Well, Doubting Thomas, I would like to introduce you to our neighbor Jesus. Oh, you two have already met? Seriously, though. The famous Christ Redeemer statue is a stone’s throw from our house. And I’d gladly cast that first stone to prove it. I realize this might be difficult to understand, so here’s a diagram that I’ve drawn to help illustrate the whereabouts of our abode.


There aren’t any giant tomatoes or cheese wedges (those are just our magnets) but this is an exact 1:198 scale drawing of our house in relation to Rio de Janeiro. You be the judge.

Also, I’ve recently discovered why they call it the “rain forest”—it rains. In America we say, “when it rains, it pours.” In Brazil they say, “when it rains, it rains.” I like their expression better. When it rains, it rains. It means they weren’t kidding when they said that it rains in the first place. And what happens when it pours in America? When it pours, it pours? So then when it rains or pours, it pours. I don’t understand. Watch this:


After every storm, it is calm again. Some call it “The Calm After the Storm.” I call it “The 2nd Night Out After the Hangover.” The rain forest is no exception. The monkeys come out. The toucans squawk their squawks. The bugs continue biting me. The geckos seek refuge in our house, dodging projectile Tupperware.

Everything goes back to normal—but just a little more beautiful than before.

2 comments:

Carly_Escoto said...

that little video's ridiculous... You LIVE there? Pfffff. My goodness. So beautiful, Bob.

Tim - PDX said...

Hey bro, yeah I said bro, big deal, wanna fight about it? Love the blog! Made me laugh so hard I almost spit my caramel machiato all over my keyboard. Projectile Tupperware, nice. I always knew you'd live somewhere with monkeys in your backyard, even if only for a short while. Glad you're livin' it up in Rio! Hey, is it everything James Taylor said it is?

Miss ya man!