"I can't handle one more night in Lapa."
"Yea, me neither. Let's go to Copacabana. It's supposed to have the best clubs anyway."
"Sounds good. I just need to meet up with this girl first."
"OK. Where?"
"Lapa."
I've learned to just accept Lapa as the inevitable destination on a Friday. It's like a period at the end of a statement: you just expect it. (see, there it is) I suppose the party town has a few drawbacks. Every curb has a constantly flowing stream of human urine, quickly followed by its accompanying stench. Each scan of the crowd is marred by a transvestite prost, somehow looking more naked wearing clothes than if they were actually naked. Dirt. Crime. Sex. Beggars. Fear. Filth. Puke. What's not to love?"Yea, me neither. Let's go to Copacabana. It's supposed to have the best clubs anyway."
"Sounds good. I just need to meet up with this girl first."
"OK. Where?"
"Lapa."
What is to love is Noberto. Noberto is the "Caipirinha Guy". He makes the best Caipirinha in Rio. One Lime. Two scoops of sugar. Ice. And a lot of cachaça (Brazilian liquor). A short man. Dark, with a bit of a jerry curl going on. Always smiling and he loves his thumbs-up. I think cutting limes all night helps block out the Amazon River of pee ten feet from his stand. Fortunately, you can hear that one before stepping in it.
If somebody really hates Lapa, I think he or she expects too much from the world. The world is dirty. The world has pee rivers. The world smells like coagulated hooker sweat. But if you take the time, you'll find a lime.
3 comments:
if you're Ob, would noberto be NOB? I'm incredibly jealous that you have located a guy who's sole purpose in life is to make the perfect caiperiena (sp). I used to work with a guy in Miami who ordered "caiperroska's" which has vodka instead of the sugar cane stuff. Give it a whirl- see if Nob can mix one. love Od
yea. noberto is a nob. we could go into business together. i'll make the caiperroskas and he'll make the caipirinhas. we'll be called Bob & Nob.
on a serious note, Nob really does make caipirinhas with vodka. he calls them caipivodkas. it's not very creative. he should stick to making drinks.
Would I sound too much like my brother if I asked you to bring home some of the cachaca. Caipirinha's are the grandest of the grand.
Keep the blog running and post some surf pics so I can hate you more.
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